Going in Thai Circles

As mentioned in previous blogs I think that one thing funny about falangs (*Thai for "foreigners") is the myth of "common sense" and/or "common courtesy. The reason I think it is so funny is because it is a myth. Back home in Canada this particular myth just happens to be so widespread that it is true with certain morays of sense and courtesy becoming almost universally agreed upon. For example, one would normally expect that it is rude to step in front of someone in line at the grocery store or to set up a concert bandstand on the outskirts of an otherwise quiet community and proceed to blare music throughout the night. And although this type of behaviour would seem universally irritating and considered a matter of course to be followed by all parties it is by no means common to all places.

Thailand is not Canada. It is a world away from there. Yes, it has things in common with Canada such as paved streets, 7-11 stores, and shopping malls, but that is where the commonalities cease. Assuming that the "sense" of a Canadian is common with the "sense" of a Thai is merely naive. Thai's have their own morays, values, and common social qualities for which they adhere to just like all cultures develop their own ways of being. And thus we come across the circles of Thailand.

Thai social culture appears to revolve around circles moving from the inner to the outer. The circles determine the level of respect through which a person will treat those around them.

The inner circle is that of your family and closest friends. These are the people that you reply upon in your survival. They are people that are important to hold in high esteem for everything from your personal relations to your persona survival. They are more important than all others. This may not sound so different than what you might consider "normal", but the circles widen from here.

The second circle is that of co-workers and regular associates that you may have regular dealings with. These are people that you maintain positive relations to because they affect your periodical dealings and having a smooth relationship with them will grease the proverbial wheels later on.

Then comes the outer circle. This is everyone else on the planet that does not fit into the first two circles. People in this outer circle are worthy of nothing and are not valued nor treated with value. This is where the idea of "common courtesy" gets obscured.

"Common courtesy" as is agreed upon in Canada seems to state that all people are worthy of the universal respect as outlined by the unwritten guidelines referred to as "common courtesy". If an individual steps outside of the perceived parameters of common courtesy they can expect to be verbally drawn in by their peers and gently reminded of what is considered appropriate behaviour. However most of these perceptions that are common to Canadians do not apply to the outer circle.

Thai people exercise their rites of circles by out-circling each other in lines. People do line up here but one must always be wary of all others within the line or approaching the line because they are all in the outer circle.

The others also recognize this and they expect that you understand this as part of their version of universal "common sense". Yes, that's right, they also believe in a version of common sense completely alien to us. People in the outer circle do not begrudge others who act accordingly. It is understood that it is not rude to act in total disregard to those around you that do not fall within the inner two circles.

Driving in Thailand is a clear way to observe the outer circle in action. People swerve in and out of each other with reckless abandon constantly vying for the pole position that will allow them continued leverage on the remaining traffic in their path. It is quite clear that all other vehicles on the road are not considered to be in the inner-circle. this is evident due to the complete lack of courtesy displayed between drivers.

Lining up is another one of those common sense myths that is not so common in Thailand. Many people in Canada believe that when many people are waiting for a service that they should naturally form a line and wait their timely turn of being served. However, this is particular to only certain world circles and is not necessarily the case in Thailand.

When line ups occur in Thailand they are treated only as a suggestion of who will be served first. The actuality is that the line will follow ordinary parameters but there will be outer-circle exceptions. These exceptions include people darting around those in front of them when they are not looking or quietly pushing in front of them. Another common outer-circle exception is when a person simply stands beside the line waiting for the right moment and then suddenly strikes their hand forward holding the item they wish to purchase including the money for it in hopes that the cashier will accept them first. Of course the cashier is also Thai and so does not wish for any form of confrontation choosing rather to pursue a "mai pen rai" way of being, and so, they will accept the outer-circle action without penalty. At this point you may be saying to yourself, "this sounds a bit one-sided. I'm certain these actions are only that of the young, brash, and impatient." However, when grandma pushes you aside to pay for her strips of dried shrimp and then proceeds to push the remainder of her family into the line in front of you, you may begin to understand. It is for just these reasons that I think "mai pen rai" (*Thai for "no worries" or "whatever") is an essential component to survival in Thailand. But one must forgive grandma for her actions. Her family is in her inner circle whereas everyone else is not and she expects all others would do the same. So, to not act accordingly would be to forsake the way of being that is culturally correct.

"But this sounds absurd" you say? The next time you are in Thailand rent a car and see how long it takes someone to "let you in" to the flow of traffic. After several hours you might just realize that you are in the outer circle. But when it happens, try to understand that it is not rudeness, it is merely a form of cultural social survival being exercised. And if you do get angry, then try to understand how maddening it must be to move to Canada and have to understand a system different than your own.